the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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