you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
