she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
