well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
