She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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