I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
