Who did Billy Mays play for?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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