I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
A+ Viking dick
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
