It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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