no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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