When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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