I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
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