we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
