Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
