What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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