I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
