vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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