Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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