oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
