Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
