OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize