i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
