margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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