1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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