there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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