I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
