why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i think my cat just said my name.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize