literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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