watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize