We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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