does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
