I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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