Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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