No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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