i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize