btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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