It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
