Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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