His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
