In the future we'll all be gay
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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