Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
