Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We don't watch enough power rangers
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
