take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
