You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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