You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize