he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
