Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
