I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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