I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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