Got a toothbrush?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
