are you still at the devil's house?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
