none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
