You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
