I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
