there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
