My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
