Porn is love you can see.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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