there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
