Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize