its not stalking. its research.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
