Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
